Nine Months
by Natascha Romanoff
Summary: Natasha is on her own after the events of Civil War when she finds out that Steve Rogers made something happen that should have been impossible and will change both their lives forever. Romanogers
1. Chapter 1

_First Month_

Natasha ran to her quarters at the compound after the unpleasant talk she just had with Tony. She knew she had to leave, Ross was after her now. But she wanted to take a few things with her before she vanished. Tony was mad at her but he wouldn't rat her out to Ross, so she had the time. She grabbed a duffel bag and threw a change of clothes, an empty passport and gifts of her friends into it. The arrow necklace Clint had given her, Wanda's ring and the drawing Steve had made of her. She quickly emptied all her bank accounts and transferred the money to offshore accounts that Ross would never find. She took one last look at her apartment and decided that she couldn't leave without the photo of her and the other Avengers. She opened the duffel bag, tossed the framed picture in it and then jogged to the garage to get to her Corvette. She would have to ditch the car in New York. She watched the Facility from her rear mirror while she drove away. This part of her life was over now.

Once she was in her shitty apartment in New York she made sure that Sharon Carter knew the location of the Raft. Steve would most likely contact Sharon to get their friends out of prison. Natasha knew that Sharon had been the one to give Steve and Sam their gear back. She had seen how Sharon had taken them out of the armory but had decided to keep it to herself. Sam and Steve had needed their gear for the confrontation in Leipzig. The little smile on Sharon's face when she had returned to the CIA facility had told Natasha enough. Something had happened between her and Steve. And Carter had seemed very happy about it. Natasha ignored the pang in her chest and walked into her bathroom to dye her hair. This _thing_ between her and Steve had always been casual so she had no right to be jealous or hurt. It had been her idea in the first place. And now this thing was over. Because of the mess they were all in. And because of Sharon Carter. She got the hair dye out of the cabinet and cut her hair to shoulder length and gave herself bangs before she dyed her new hair cut. Her hair was now a honey blonde and she already knew that she would have to go platinblonde in a few months but she didn't want to damage her hair too much today.

She left New York an hour later and hoped that Steve was okay and would soon free their friends. Maybe he would run away with Sharon. He deserved a happy ending.

* * *

 _Second Month_

Clint had contacted her to let her know that he was okay and would sign a deal with Ross so he could come home to Laura and the kids by the time she had decided to stay in Prague for now. She already knew that Steve had gotten them out. No official news about it since Ross was probably humiliated that his superprison wasn't so super after all but unknown to him she hacked her way into the CIA servers and knew that there had been a prison break in the Raft. She also knew that Sharon Carter was still working for the CIA and in Berlin. Was Steve there too?

She tried to find out what had happened in Siberia but all she figured out was that T'challa had brought in Zemo. No word about Steve or Barnes. She only knew from Clint that Tony had wanted to know where Steve had been headed after Leipzig and Steve hadn't told them what happened in Siberia. She didn't know more but she had a bad feeling in her gut. Maybe it was her intuition or just the stomach flu she seemed to have caught. She was tired all the time and nauseous. She was self -medicating herself and hoped the flu would be over soon. She couldn't afford to be sick too long. She knew that Ross could find her any moment, no matter how good she was. She couldn't foresee every one of his moves.

She didn't know where or how Steve was. Clint had only told her that Barnes hadn't been with him when he had busted the others out and that he had taken off with Wanda and Sam after Clint and Scott had decided to accept house arrest to return home. She tried to take a bite from her spaghetti carbonara but she had to drop the fork and run into her small bathroom to empty her stomach. She loved spaghetti carbonara and she had made it because her stomach had been quiet in the last two days and she wanted to enjoy that with good food. Why did it make her nauseous? She had eaten her breakfast this morning without any problems!

* * *

 _Third month_

She moved from Prague to Copenhagen where she hoped to stay for a longer amount of time. She always liked Denmark and thought it was a nice place for retirement. She had thought about doing freelance but it was wiser to stay low for now. It looked like Sam, Wanda and Steve thought so too. The CIA had no idea where they were and neither did she. She wanted to track them down, wanted to know that they were safe and okay, but the bigger the group the easier they were to find. And she didn't even know if they still trusted her. They had been on different sides during the conflict. Yes, she had let Steve and his best friend go but that didn't mean that Steve still trusted her. He hadn't asked her to get them their gear, he had asked Sharon. She wondered if Steve knew that she had been the one to give Sharon the location of the Raft. But it didn't matter. That part of her life was over. She had no friends anymore. No home. She was on her own again. She was surprised how much that bothered her. She was used to have people around, to have her friends around. Her family. To have _Steve_ around her.

She unlocked her apartment door and got inside. She tossed the empty Coca Cola bottle into the trash can and walked to her bathroom. She wasn't an idiot. She knew what her nausea, fatigue and her swollen breasts could mean. It should be impossible but it would be an explanation for her symptoms. Her period had always been very irregular thanks to what the Red Room had done to her, and with the stress of the last months she wasn't surprised that she hadn't had her period in over three months but she knew that it could be another sign. She got the five pregnancy tests out of her shopping bag, peed in a plastic cup and wet each testing stripe. Now she had to wait until her timer went off. She tried not to think about anything during those minutes. She was most likely wrong, it was impossible for her to get pregnant. Maybe she had cancer...Even though the serum in her veins should make that impossible as well.

Her phone started ringing and she turned the timer off. She took a deep breath and looked at the five pregnancy tests on the bathroom counter. She felt hot and cold at the same time.

They were all positive.

She was pregnant with Steve Rogers' child. _Shit._ What now?


	2. Chapter 2

_TW: brief mention of abortion_

* * *

 _Fourth Month_

Her first instinct had been to pour herself a glass of vodka when she'd stared at the positive tests but then she'd remembered that she couldn't drink anymore.

Her second thought had been to end this pregnancy. She had been still in her first trimester if she had done the math right and could have gotten an abortion. This would have been what a Black Widow would do, what the Natasha from a few years ago would have done. But now? She had never really thought about motherhood. She had been angry that the Red Room had taken that choice from her. She would have been okay with only being _Auntie Nat_ but who knew when or if she would ever see Clint's kids again. Deep down she knew that this was her only chance at having her own baby. She didn't think that she would ever sleep with Steve Rogers again, and even though she was no scientist she knew that he was the _only one_ that could get her pregnant. S _uper_ soldier indeed. And would she ever find a better father for her child? No. So she had decided that afternoon in her bathroom staring at the pregnancy tests that she would keep the baby. That she wanted to be a mother. _Holy shit,_ she was going to be someone's mother. How was she going to be a good mother if she didn't even remember having one?

This pregnancy changed everything. She had to get a doctor that she could trust. She could of course go to a local OB-GYN with her fake identity but what if they somehow figured out who she was. Or more importantly if the tests somehow would reveal that this baby was special. Because the father was special. What if the baby had Steve's serum? People had tried for decades to replicate Project Rebirth...If those people knew that Captain America fathered a child...No, she had to protect this baby. _His_ baby.

Another problem was that she had to find a safe place for the last weeks of her pregnancy. Somewhere safe where Ross couldn't find her and where she could give birth. Once she was a balloon, she couldn't just run anymore. And there was no chance in hell that she was giving birth in prison. And who knew that Ross would do if he found out about the pregnancy and _who_ the father was. Ross would love to get his hands on Captain America's baby.

There was so much to consider in the next months and then once the baby was born. Oh God, she would have to give birth! Something according to Laura was like getting your body ripped in half. God, she wished that Laura was here.

The first thing she had to do was to make sure that the baby was okay. She could contact Fury and asked him to get her Dr. Fine but then Nick would ask why she needed the doctor and she didn't want to tell him that she was pregnant. Not that she didn't trust him but it didn't seem right that someone before Steve knew about this baby. _Oh God, she had to tell Steve!_ She remembered how he had asked her if they would need protection the first time they'd had sex and she'd said it wasn't necessary... How was she supposed to know that Steve Rogers had super swimmers?!

She now knew for two weeks that she was pregnant when she broke into the practice of an OB/GYN in the middle of the night. She would just do the ultrasound and look for a steady heartbeat herself. She did her research and was positive that she would know what to do. She would ask Fury for Dr. Fine's number once she had told Steve about the baby. And she had no idea how to do that. She walked through the hallway of the practice until she found the room with the ultrasound unit and switched it on before she got on the gurney and pushed her sweater up. God, how was she supposed to tell Steve that she was pregnant? Tracking him down shouldn't be too hard for her but telling him... _Remember I told you I was infertile? Well, guess you fixed that! You're going to be a father! Surprise!_ She shook her head at herself and pushed her jeans down until her entire abdomen was free. She grabbed the gel and pressed it down her stomach. Fuck, that shit was cold! Natasha took the ultrasound transducer and moved it around until she found her uterus. _And there it was._ Wow, the baby was already so big! She wasn't really showing yet so she thought that the baby was still a little nub but it looked it was a the size of her fist. _Wow._

She pressed her hand flat on her belly. "Hi!" She breathed out softly and used her other hand to switch on the ECG of the ultrasound unit so she could hear the heartbeat. She held her breath and listened to the sound of her baby's heartbeat. It was regular, thank God. She blinked her tears away and took a deep breath. "You're okay, my little _chudo_!"

She spent a few more minutes listening to her child's steady heartbeat before she wiped the gel off her stomach and then printed the ultrasound picture out. She deleted everything, wiped her fingerprints off of everything she touched and then left the practice with the photo of her baby inside her backpack.

She read everything she could find about pregnancy and childbirth in the next two weeks and now knew that her baby was the size of an avocado. She felt a bit weird that morning cutting one open for her breakfast. She knew that she would have to look for Steve soon. She was a bit showing already and she read that her bump could get bigger any day now. Soon she couldn't say that she just gained a bit of weight and she didn't want Steve to see her baby bump and realize himself that she was pregnant. No, she wanted to tell him that she was having a baby. _His baby_. How would he react? Would he be happy? He would be, right? She was happy about the baby and she wasn't the most maternal person to begin with. Would he want to stay with her and the baby? Was he with Sharon now? What would _she_ think about this situation? Would they have joined custody and Sharon would be the baby's stepmom one day? And she still didn't know where to give birth. Should she stay in Copenhagen? Or move to another location before she was too pregnant for it? Would Dr. Fine be so kind to come to her or would she be forced to return to the States? Where Ross was? No, that wouldn't be an option.

She was almost five months along and it was time to find Steve. To tell him about their child. And to get Dr. Fine to look at the baby so she knew for sure her little _chudo_ was really healthy. There was only so much that she could on her own in regards of checking the baby's health. God, why did she have to be pregnant when the whole world was against them? Where would she raise the child? _How_ would she raise a child while being on the run? A child needed stability and a home. The little _chudo_ would have to go to school one day. A child needed friends.

She got dizzy and had to sit down at the kitchen table. How was she supposed to do all of this?! What if Steve didn't want the baby? She shook her head. No, she might not really knew what her and Steve were but she knew that he would want to be a part of his child's life. They would figure it out. _Together._ She just had to find him and then find the guts to tell him the truth. She had tried to find the right words for weeks now but everything just sounded wrong. She was about to change his already messy life forever. She got up to get her laptop to start looking for him. She couldn't hold it off any longer. Who knew how long it would take her to track him down.

She was just about to sit down on her couch with her laptop in her hands when someone knocked on her door. Her blood went cold. Who could that be? She only gave Clint vague intel about where she was and he couldn't be here due to his house arrest. Did Ross find her? She was glad that she hid the ultrasound picture of her little _chudo_ underneath the loose wood batten in her bedroom. She put the laptop down, picked the Glock up from her coffee table and walked carefully to the front door. She pressed the gun against the door and looked through the peeping hole. _Shit!_ He looked different now with a beard and longer hair but that was definitely Steve Rogers standing in front of the other side of her closed door. _Fuck, fuck, fuck_! She wasn't ready for this! How the fuck did he know where she lived?!

She took a deep breath, closed her oversized cardigan to cover her tiny baby bump and opened the door.

"Hey, Nat," he smiled softly. God, how much she had missed that smile. "It's so good to see you!"

* * *

 _Chudo is Russian for miracle_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Unfortunately I can't directly respond to guest reviews, so I'll do it here. In this story Natasha does have an uterus like the previous chapter stated when she broke into the practice to do the ultrasound herself. The MCU left the "graduation ceremony" pretty vague so to me she was always only sterilized and Steve's sperm healed her ovaries. I also never read anywhere before that Natasha's uterus was removed._

 _Even with a sterilization a women gets her period btw. The more you know;)_

 _Enough rambling, let's continue with the story:)_

* * *

 _Fifth Month_

Steve had been staying at her apartment for 11 days, five hours and 39 minutes and she still hadn't told him that she was pregnant with his child. She had tried to come up with the courage several times but the words wouldn't just leave her mouth. She was wearing oversized sweaters and hoodies to make sure that Steve wouldn't see her growing baby bump. She knew she was a coward and keeping the pregnancy a secret from him would just make things harder but she just couldn't get the words _I'm pregnant_ out.

She kept him at bay and made sure that he never saw her in her sleeping wear. Steve had seemed surprised and maybe even a bit hurt that she wouldn't let him sleep with her in her bed. Which had surprised _her_ since she had thought this whole time that something had happened between him and Sharon. She always had shared a bed with Steve during missions ever since they'd started sleeping together and she lost count of the many times she'd slept at his quarters at the Facility. But there was no way that she would share a bed with him now. She had felt bad when she had offered him the couch and he had looked like a kicked puppy but it was for the best. She didn't want him to accidentally find out the truth and the weird state they were in now just confused her. Why did it seem that he wanted to share a bed when he had Sharon?

She had wanted to tell Steve about their baby the afternoon he had shown up at her door but then he'd started talking and she just couldn't. He'd already had so much on his mind.

 _She was still in shock that Steve was suddenly here when he stepped forward to wrap his arms around here. God, that felt so good! She had at least the mind to not press her belly against him so he wouldn't feel the bump before she turned into pudding in his arms. She didn't want him to find out like that. He brushed his nose against her hair and she heard him inhale her scent._

 _"I missed you, Nat." He whispered against her temple before he pressed his lips against her skin._

 _She moved her head until she could press her face into his chest to breathe him in. She'd read about how some pregnant women couldn't stand their partner's smell but Steve smelled heavenly. Like soap, leather, clean sweat and that aftershave that drove her insane. He smelled like always. Like her Steve. She chided herself. He wasn't her Steve!_

 _She looked up at him and was greeted with a soft smile on his face. He looked really happy to see her. "How did you find me?"_ _His smile grew wider and then he brushed his lips over her cheek to the corner of her mouth. She pulled away before he could kiss her lips. This shouldn't be happening. "How did you know that I was here?"_

 _Steve looked hurt but the expression quickly left his face. And then he gave her a sheepish grin. "I had help from Clint. He gave me the clues you gave him to find you but it still took me ages to track you down. You're not easy to find."_

 _Good, she had to stay hidden. She walked back into her apartment and looked over her shoulder so Steve would follow her. He closed the door behind him and dropped his duffel bag to the floor. God, he looked really sexy with that new look! She caught herself wondering how his beard would feel against her skin before she could stop herself. She was blaming those damn pregnancy hormones! They made her horny and it didn't help that the object of her desire was now standing in her tiny apartment. She pushed any thoughts about their previous sexual encounters away. Things were different now. She couldn't just jump into bed with him. There was a child she had to think about, she couldn't make things with the chudo's father even more complicated. And she still suspected that Sharon was now in the picture, even though Steve had tried to kiss her minutes ago._

 _"Do you want some tea?" She asked Steve over her shoulder while already walking into her small kitchen._

 _He was following her. "Sure. Thanks."_

 _"So-"_

 _"So-"_

 _They both laughed at their attempts to start a conversation. God, why was this so weird now? Steve didn't even know yet that she was carrying his child! She filled the kettle with water. "How are you? How are the others?"_

 _Steve took a deep breath. "Tony knows."_

 _She turned around. "Knows what?"_

 _"What really happened to Maria and Howard Stark." Steve looked to the ground._

 _"Oh." She simple said. She and Steve never talked about what Zola had showed them and it seemed like they both silently agreed that it would stay between them. Did Steve change his mind? "How?"_

 _He looked up from the ground and at her. "Zemo. Siberia was a trap. The Winter Soldiers were already dead when Buck and I got there. And then Tony was there and there was this security footage that Zemo somehow found...Tony watched his parents get murdered and...I...I should have told him...Things escalated. He was hellbent on killing Bucky...It was horrible, Nat." He ran his hand over his face. "I destroyed Tony's reactor...Bucky lost his arm...and I gave up the shield."_

 _"What!? No, that shield is yours!"_

 _He shook his head. "No, Tony was right. I don't deserve it."_

 _"Steve..." She walked closer to him and put her hand on his arm. "I...I don't know what to say...I'm so sorry."_

 _He smiled sadly. "You know, I was beating myself up during that flight to Siberia that I didn't take you with us...But in hindsight, it was probably for the best."_

 _"Maybe I could've-"_

 _"No, Nat. You would have gotten into the crossfire. Tony couldn't think straight anymore. You would have gotten hurt."_

 _She wanted to say something but a shiver went down her spine. She would have tried to intervene and could have gotten hurt. The chudo could have gotten hurt. It was for the best that she hadn't been there. She had to think about something else. The thought of the baby getting hurt made her panic. "Where's Barnes? How are Sam and Wanda?"_

 _He took the mug she offered him. "Sam and Wanda are in Wales now. That's where we're staying at the moment. Sam's surprisingly cool with everything and started knitting." Steve laughed. "I actually have a scarf for you from him in my bag. And Wanda's doing okay. She wasn't in a good place after the Raft but she's okay now. She does a lot of hiking to clear her mind."_

 _Natasha felt guilt and rage running through her veins when she thought about Wanda. She was practically still a kid and was treated like scum by the world. She had hoped that she could protect Wanda by signing the Accords but she'd miserably failed. "And Barnes? Is he with you in Wales?"_

 _Steve shook his head. "He went under again. Said he couldn't trust his own mind. He's somewhere safe. Somewhere where he can get the best help."_

 _He didn't tell her where Barnes was. It only dawned on her later why. Steve didn't completely trust her after the whole Accords thing. That hurt more than she thought it would. The father of her child didn't trust her._

 _"I don't know your plans but you can have my couch if you want to stay." She offered him after they finished their tea. She couldn't sleep in the same bed as him. She couldn't tell him yet that she was pregnant. He had so much on his mind, so much to worry about. She couldn't add a baby to that._

 _Steve looked hurt about the offer. "Oh, okay. Thank you", he gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes. What? Did he come here with the intention to sleep with her?_

* * *

Steve went on a run every morning and she used his absence for yoga and looking at her bump in the mirror. It almost seemed like she was getting bigger every day now. Soon she wouldn't be able to hide her pregnancy with oversized clothes anymore. She had to tell him. She would tell him today. She would make them breakfast and then finally admit that she was carrying his child. She had to tell him. She had to see a real doctor and start to think about the birth. She was almost six months along. If she wanted to move somewhere else, she would have to do it soon.

She was making scrambled eggs while thinking about how to tell him. _Can you pass me the milk? Oh, and I'm pregnant by the way. It's yours._ She cringed at herself and checked the bacon in the oven. _Hey, Steve. Not do I only have bacon in the oven but also a bun. Get it, Steve? We're having a baby!_ She shook her head and put the eggs on their plates. She would just have to come up with something during breakfast.

Steve got back when she just finished setting the breakfast table. She wondered how he would react to her pregnancy. He would be shocked but be happy, right?

"Okay, thanks." She had been so deep in thought that she didn't even notice he was on the phone. "You too, Sharon."

 _Sharon._ She gritted her teeth and tried her best to ignore the jealousy. So they were at least in contact. She sat down at the kitchen table and yelled for Steve. "I made breakfast."

He smiled. "Looks great, Nat." He sat down opposite from her and filled her glass with OJ. Steve hadn't said anything about her not drinking coffee anymore.

"Who were you talking to?" She asked innocently.

"Sharon Carter." He replied without missing a beat. "She informed me that we're not the CIA's top priority anymore. They're still looking for us but the search is not as active as it used to be."

She nodded. "That's good." She took a sip from her juice. "You talk often to Carter?"

"From time to time." He played with his fork and then looked at her with a guilty look. So now he would tell her that he was with Sharon. "We kissed." He dropped the fork on his plate. "She was the one who got us our gear back after Berlin. And I kissed her." She kept quiet waiting for him to keep going. "It just happened."

"It just happened?" She repeated, her voice slightly agitated. Shit. She had no right to be mad but she was. He had kissed another woman only three days after the last time they'd had sex? One day after Peggy Carter's funeral? And then he'd kissed her fucking niece?! Men were the worst! _Calm down, Natasha. It's just those pregnancy hormones again._

"I didn't plan for it and we both agree that it was a mistake and I'm sorry, Nat. It didn't mean anything. I shouldn't have kissed someone else. I'm sorry, Nat."

He looked really guilty but she was fucking livid. How dare he kiss another woman when she was pregnant with his child! She knew she wasn't rational, they had just been hooking up. No strings attached. There was no way that she was going to tell him about their baby today! She stood abruptly up and stormed into her bedroom closing the door behind her with a loud bang.

"Natasha? Please talk to me!" Steve had to be right on the other side of the door.

Why was she _so_ hurt? He could kiss whoever he wanted! And it didn't seem like he and Sharon were a couple. Why did she feel so miserable right now? _You know why. You just don't want to admit it to yourself._ The first tear fell down her cheek.

* * *

Two days passed with her barely talking to Steve. She wondered how long he was going to stay here. Didn't he want to go back to Wales? What was he even doing here? And why did it take for him so long to come to her? She knew that tracking her down hadn't been easy but she taught him a few things and it shouldn't have taken him almost five months to find her.

Steve was sitting on her couch watching some gossip show for some reason when she came back from running errands. She'd told him that she wanted to get a few things. She hadn't told him that prenatal vitamins were among those things. She looked at the TV and saw why Steve was watching this show. Tony and Pepper got engaged. Good for them.

"Why didn't you look sooner for me?" She suddenly blurted out while she watched several recent photos of Tony and Pepper on the screen. They looked happy.

Steve turned the TV off. "I wasn't ready. And I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You took _his_ side. You chose Tony over me when it came to the Accords. You have always been right beside me and then you just...stopped. I could live with Rhodey and Vision taking Tony's side but you...I was hurt, Nat. I didn't know if I could still trust you."

She rolled her eyes. _Boys._ They always had to make it about their egos. "This wasn't about sides. This was about staying in the game to control it, Rogers. What could I have done if I hadn't signed the Accords? Nothing. I would have had no access to anything. Ross wouldn't have hesitated to kill you after Bucharest and then Berlin. Tony and I talked him out of it! I would have never known where the Raft was! Jesus Christ, Steve!" She threw her hands in the air. "This was about making the most pragmatic decision. Tony's guilt would have made him sign anything to quiet his consciousness and you're too goddamn stubborn! Someone had to have a clear head and that role fell into my lap. I signed those fucking Accords so I could protect you!"

"Fuck, Nat. I'm sorry. I didn't think so far." He buried his face in his hands. "I am truly sorry."

"And why did you think that I didn't want to see you?"

"I ruined your life, Natasha. You let us go and with that you lost your home. Your _family._ I thought you'd hated me." He admitted in a quiet voice. "And that thought was killing me."

"You still don't trust me. Not entirely." She said instead of admitting that she could never hate him. Not when she...No, don't go there now.

"What do you mean? Of course I trust! Otherwise I wouldn't be here."

She scoffed. "Really, then why didn't you tell me where Barnes is?"

"I thought you didn't want to know. After what he did to you." Steve stood up from the couch and walked over to her. "He's in Wakanda. T'challa offered him refuge."

 _Wakanda?_ Well _,_ she clearly didn't see that coming. What a turn of events. "So you trust me?"

"Yes, one hundred percent."

She grimaced. How could she expect him to trust her when she was hiding something from him? "Steve, there's something I have to tell you. I've been keeping something from you. Something huge."

He looked worried. "Are you okay? Are you sick? What's wrong?"

Okay, this was the time now. She took a deep breath. "Please don't be mad." She whispered and opened her thick cardigan to expose her baby bump. "I'm pregnant."

Steve's gaze dropped to her belly. "What?!"

"I'm pregnant." He looked up at her with wide eyes. "And it's yours." The truth was finally out.

Steve suddenly dropped on one knee. "Will you marry me?"

What? She shook her head. "No. I'm not marrying you just because I'm pregnant, Steve!"

* * *

 _Your feedback is greatly appreciated_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sixth Month_

Things were tense between them now with Steve knowing about their baby and the rejected marriage proposal. Steve had looked happy after the initial shock about the pregnancy but seemed for some reason hurt that she hadn't said yes to him. He didn't love her, why on earth was he hurt that she didn't want to marry him? They didn't have to be married to raise a child!

She agreed after a heated argument that she would come with him to Wales so they could take the quinjet there to fly to Wakanda. Steve assured her that they could trust T'challa and that they had the best health care. She had no reason to trust T'challa but she trusted Steve so she decided to come to Wakanda. If Steve was right then they would be perfectly safe there and she could give birth there.

They had to stay a few more days until they could leave for Wales because an international conference was happening in Copenhagen and law enforcement was everywhere. The risk that someone could recognize them was too high.

She was laying in her bed staring at the bedroom ceiling unable to fall asleep. She couldn't stop thinking about the evening three days ago when she had finally told him the truth.

 _"Why not?" Steve was still on one knee. "I'll get you a ring. I know this isn't the perfect pro-"_

 _"Steve." She sighed and grabbed him by the shoulders so he would finally stand up. "I know that you're from a time where you were expected to get married when you got a girl pregnant but this time is over. I can take care of myself. I don't need you." Steve's face fell and she quickly added. "The baby needs you and I know you will be there for our child and that's all I'm asking for."_

 _"And what about us?" Steve's hand reached out but he stopped before he could touch her. "What about you and me?"_

 _"We'll co-parent. We'll figure the arrangements out. I want you to be part of this child's life." She said softly. "I know I couldn't find a better father for my baby."_

 _Steve still seemed hurt. "So I'm only gonna be part of the baby's life, huh?"_

 _"What? No, you're my best friend. You're always gonna be a part of my life, too. Baby or no baby."_

 _"Okay. If that's how it is." He almost seemed angry and she had no idea why. Why was he acting like this?_

 _"You're happy about the baby though, right?" She asked carefully._

 _Now he was finally smiling. "Of course, Nat. I can't tell you how much. I never thought that this was possible for me but now that this is happening...with you...I don't think I've never been happier."_

 _Thank God! She smiled back at him. "Me, too. I was shocked at first. And scared but...This is everything." She rested her hand on her baby bump. "This baby is everything." She got an idea. "You wanna see the little chudo?"_

 _"Chudo?" Steve asked perplexed._

 _"Miracle. It means miracle. I have an ultrasound picture of the chudo."_

 _Steve smiled softly. "Chudo...I like that. And I would love to see our child."_

 _A shiver ran down her spine. Our child. She smiled brightly and told him to follow her so she could show him the picture._

* * *

They stayed four more days at her apartment until she was positive that they could leave the country without being made. They took a flight to Cardiff and Steve drove them to the cottage near the coast where he had been staying with Wanda and Sam. She was excited to see them but also nervous. Were they mad at her for what had happend with the Accords? How would they react to her pregnancy?

Steve had been very sweet to her in the last days always making sure that she had everything she could possibly need. There had been moments were she wished that they were a real couple and they would sleep in one bed. That he would massage her feet, kiss her goodnight and hold her in his arms while she slept. She didn't know if it was the pregnancy but she felt really lonely sometimes. Steve was here with her yet he felt so far away from her. He was attentive and took care of her but he still seemed distant and she didn't know why. But she did know one hundred percent that he was already in love with their baby. And that was all she wanted in the end. It didn't matter what she wanted for herself. Only the little _chudo_ mattered.

They drove through a village until Steve stopped the car at the end of the small town. "We're here." He looked at her for the first time during the two hour drive. "We stay the night so I can contact T'challa and then we can leave tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded. "Yes. And thank you."

He gave her a small smile. "You don't have to thank me. I just want to make sure that the little _chudo_ is okay. That you are okay. Since we don't really know how this pregnancy is even possible."

She reached over to rest her hand on top of his on the steering wheel. "Just thank you. I'm glad that I don't have to do this alone anymore."

"You'll always have me, Nat. I promise you this. Whatever you need, I'm there." He turned his hand to take hers in his. "I'm all in. There's something I've wanted to tell you for so long, Nat. I lo-"

"Hey guys!" She looked up and saw Sam and Wanda coming towards the car. Steve grunted and let go of her hand. Sam and Wanda didn't seem angry to see her but were actually smiling at her. Good, she didn't think she could handle their hatred with her pregnancy hormones going crazy. She'd cried yesterday during a commercial but Steve had been so kind to ignore it.

She got out of the car with her coat and Sam's scarf hiding her baby bump. She still hadn't shown Steve her bump without any clothes covering it. She figured he would see it during her examination in Wakanda. Wanda was a few feet away from her when she stopped in her tracks with wide eyes. "Oh." Her eyes turned red. "Wow."

Could she sense the child? "Wanda, are you okay?" Steve asked worriedly.

She nodded. "Yes, I am." She gave Natasha a sweet smile. "Congratulations." So she could sense the child. That was kind of creepy...But also impressive.

"Thank you. It's good to see you, Wanda." And it really was.

"Congratulations for what?" Sam spoke up. "And welcome to our little casa."

She grinned and opened her coat. "Congratulations for this."

Sam's eyes almost fell out of their sockets. "Holy...Who's the father?"

"Steve." She and Wanda said at the same time. How did Wanda know?

"I am." Steve said rather proudly and it made her warm and fuzzy.

"What? How? I mean I know _how._ Just..." Sam stuttered and pointed at her belly. "I had no clue you two were a couple."

"We're not." She quickly said before Steve could say it and crush her heart. Hugs were exchanged and Steve would let her have his bedroom for the night and contacted T'challa to let him know that they would arrive tomorrow.

She could clearly see that Wanda and Sam had questions, especially Sam, but they both were kind to her and asked her if she needed anything. Sam was already planning to knit something for the baby. They exchanged a few stories and one of Sam's unsuccessful tries to charm an Italian woman made Natasha laugh so hard that she actually started to cry.

"The baby reacts to your voice." Wanda said when her laughter died down.

"What?" She and Steve asked at the same time.

"I can feel it. He loves your voice, especially your laughter and when you sing to him."

"You sing to the baby?" Steve asked apparently completely missing what Wanda just revealed.

" _He_?" She asked softly. "It's a boy?"

Wanda went pale. "You didn't know? I thought- Oh God, I'm so-"

Steve seemed to have finally caught up. "A boy? We're having a son?"

She turned to look at him and he wasn't the only one with tears in their eyes. "Yeah, looks like it." She was going to have a little boy. She went over to Steve to hug him and this time she did press her baby bump against him so he could feel it. "Are you happy about that?" She whispered against his chest and heard faintly how Sam and Wanda left the room to give them a moment of privacy.

"I didn't care if it was a boy or girl but yeah, I'm happy about it. A _son_." He wrapped his arms around her and she felt truly safe and content for the first time in months.

"I hope he'll take after his father."

Steve chuckled and pressed a kiss on her hair. "And here I was hoping he'll take after his mother."

The trip to Wales had exhausted her and she went to bed soon after dinner. She was sure that especially Sam would ask Steve a lot of questions after she left the room but she was too tired to care about that right now. She was still completely overwhelmed that she was going to have a son. She really hoped that her boy would take after his father. Steve was so kind, smart and brave and she wanted her son to have his characters traits. Even though she was tired she couldn't seem to fall asleep. She kept wondering how their son would look like. Would he have Steve's beautiful eyes? Or her hair? She placed her hand on her belly and started to hum an old Russian folk song. She got to the refrain when she suddenly felt a kick against her palm. The little c _hudo_ had been kicking against her kidney for a few days now but this was the first time you could feel the kick outside of her body.

"Steve!"

He was so fast in his bedroom that she was surprised he hadn't broken through the sound barrier. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Come!" She pushed the blanket away and pulled her shirt up. "He's kicking! Come and feel!" Steve got onto the bed and she grabbed his hand to place it on her bare stomach. "Wait for it..." The baby kicked her again and Steve looked at her with awe. "He clearly takes after his dad." She said with a smile.

"Wow! Hi there, _chudo_!" He left his hand on her stomach and they were both waiting for the next kick. "Does it hurt?"

"What?"

"Him kicking you, does it hurt?"

"No, it just feels strange. This is the first time he really kicked." Just like on cue he did it again.

"Thank you for sharing this with me."

She shook her head softly. "You don't have to thank me for this." She yawned. "Is it okay if I try to get some sleep? You can stay here, maybe he'll kick again."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and they ended up on their sides with Steve spooning her, his hand on her belly. "Thank you for giving him to me." She mumbled out before she fell asleep. Even with the _chudo's_ kicks, she slept heavenly that night. And she knew who the reason for that was. Maybe she did want more from him. It would be nice to be a couple, to be a _real_ family but she couldn't be with someone who only offered to be with her because of the sake of their baby.

* * *

They arrived in Wakanda late at night. She and Steve talked about their concerns for the safety of their child. Steve was scared as well that people could be after the c _hudo_ because of the serum potentially running through his veins. And what about her serum? Did their son have both serums? Did he have none? She hoped that she would get to see an OB/GYN as soon as possible. But first they would have to tell T'challa that she was pregnant with Captain America's child. She hoped that the king wasn't mad that she had electrocuted him in Leipzig, even though Steve had assured that he probably wasn't. Did the people of Wakanda knew what she did to their king? She straightened the dress that Wanda had given her so she could brace the Wakandan heat and stroked her bump that was clearly visibly without any oversized clothing covering it.

"Ready?" Steve asked before he lowered the ramp of the quinjet.

She nodded and walked up behind him. "Let's go."

T'challa and someone of the Dora Milaje were waiting for them at the end of the airfield. And there was someone else behind them. She squinted her eyes. Was that-

"Bucky?!" Steve asked perplexed. "Is that you?"

Barnes tried to step forward but the woman threw him a look and he stayed put. It was probably against protocol to greet someone before the king did.

"Captain Rogers." T'challa smiled and shook his hand. "I didn't think we would see you so soon. This is General Okoye." The woman gave them a short nod.

"Thank you for helping us again."

"And Miss Romanoff!" T'challa shook her hand as well. He didn't appear to be mad at her. "Welcome to Wakanda. How lovely to see you again." His gaze fell to her stomach and he laughed. "I guess I know now why you came to us."

Barnes seemed to have forgotten any protocol and stepped forward. "Stevie did you knock this girl up?" She tensed when Barnes took her left hand but he quickly let go. "And no ring? What the hell? You got a girl in trouble without marrying her?! Your mother is rolling in her grave right now!"

Steve just stared at him and she didn't know if it was because of what Barnes had just said or because he seemed to be himself from what she could tell. T'challa looked highly amused and even Okoye was fighting a smile.

Barnes shook his head. "Sorry, I guess I'm more catholic than I realized." He smiled at her warmly and offered her his hand. "I'm James Buchanan Barnes. But you can call me Bucky or whatever you want, doll."

"Can you please not hit on the mother of my child!" Steve growled with a set jaw.

Barnes' smile grew even wider. "I was just testing something, punk."

T'challa excused himself and left with his General while someone of his staff showed them their suites. She went to bed after Barnes had told them that T'challa's sister Shuri fixed his brain and that he had been out of cryo for a few weeks. She'd figured that Steve and his best friend had a lot of catching up to do.

She barely slept that night and when she did fall asleep it wasn't for long. She knew why. She missed Steve. _Fuck_. She couldn't be in love with her child's father. What if she fucked everything up?


	5. Chapter 5

_Seventh Month_

The baby was okay. She had been able to see an OB/GYN the next day and the doctor had confirmed that the baby was healthy and a boy. She'd watched her baby in awe on the 3D monitor with Steve holding her hand. The doctor had done a few tests but couldn't tell yet if the little c _hudo_ inherited his parents serums but she did confirm that her ovaries had been healed by Steve's serum. She hadn't understood everything but apparently frequent sexual intercourse with Captain America healed procedures that were supposed to be irreversible. Steve had been both embarrassed and proud by that fact. Her healed ovaries also meant that she could have more children. A sibling for the _chudo_ one day...Maybe Steve wanted...Nope, don't go there.

It almost happened over night but now the baby bump was so big that she wouldn't be able to hide it with oversized clothing, not that she would wear a coat or hoodie in Wakanda. She actually felt very good showing her bump now that she didn't have to fear that someone hostile could see it. She could walk freely around the palace and already explored Birnin Zana a few times. She even found a Lamaze class and Steve naturally insisted to company her. It felt strange to be surrounded by all the loving couples when she and Steve were just friends. She wanted him, she didn't want him just to be the father of her child, she wanted him to be her partner.

She had met Queen Ramonda and Princess Shuri and she was sure that Shuri would change the world one day with her inventions. She didn't think it was possible but this young woman was smarter than Tony and Bruce combined. And Queen Ramonda was very kind to her and invited her over for lunch from time to time so she could talk to her about pregnancy and motherhood. She was really thankful that Ramonda shared her wisdom with her but she really wished that she could talk with Laura about everything. She and Clint didn't even know about the pregnancy since Ross was definitely just waiting for a sign from her or the others.

Steve was there when she needed him but otherwise he was with Barnes at his hut talking about whatever two senior citizens talked about. She was pretty sure though that they also talked about her and the baby. She would love to know what they said about her but probably even the Black Widow couldn't eavesdrop on two super soldiers with enhanced hearing.

Speaking of Barnes, he was very nice to her and had apologized for shooting her after he had realized who she was. He even told her about his mother's pregnancy with his sister and what tricks she had used. He was a good guy and she could see why he meant the world to Steve. And she was sure that he would be a good uncle to their son and would protect him if he ever had to. She just wished that Clint would also know that he would be an uncle in two months...

Since she couldn't bleach her hair during her pregnancy and her roots were already more than noticeable, she decided to go back to her natural hair color. The staff had gotten her everything that she needed and she dyed her hair red and cut her into a bob, she almost had the same hairstyle that she'd had when she had met Steve. God, if someone would have told her after New York that she would start to sleep with him and have his baby...She would have sent them to the next hospital. Yet here she was, pregnant with his baby and in love with him. She had been in love with him longer than she would ever admit but she couldn't ignore it any longer with this pregnancy. She was just overflowing with love. Love for her son and she felt like she had fallen in love with Steve even more for giving her a baby.

She remembered clearly the night she'd suggested to be _friends with benefits_ testing a theory. She'd thought that Steve had feelings for her and that he would never agree to something like that if he was romantically interested in her. That way she would have known and could have gotten the chance to warm up to the idea of dating Steve one day once she was brave enough to tell him the truth. But he'd almost immediately said yes and if that'd been all she would ever get from him, how could she have said no? And the sex had been amazing, the best she'd ever had. And she now got her little c _hudo._ If she was honest with herself she'd always hoped that Steve would develop feelings for her during their _thing_ but he never did. Instead he'd kissed Sharon Carter after not having seen her for two years and barely speaking to her. All she had gotten was a halfhearted proposal after he found out that she was pregnant with his child. Great.

She blow dried her hair and checked herself in the mirror. She did a good job if she said so herself. She put her sunglasses on when Steve was already knocking on her door since they had to go another Lamaze class.

She opened the door and he stared at her hair. "It's red again."

"You've got amazing observation skills, Captain." She teased with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes at her and smiled. "I missed the red. This hair color fits you perfectly." He brushed a strain of her behind her ear. "Didn't you have this hair cut when we first met?"

She nodded. "Yes, I did."

"And you wore a black leather jacket and a red top. I'll never forget the moment I first saw you, Nat."

She ignored how warm that made her feel and reminded him that they had to hurry if they didn't want to be too late for their Lamaze class.

* * *

She decided to pay Barnes a visit since she didn't really have any friends here and she wanted to get to know the man Steve had been willing to sacrifice everything for.

He was outside of his hut taking care of his goats. It was kind of hilarious that the Winter Soldier was now a goat farmer. She thanked the driver and told him that she would call him when she wanted to go back. Barnes was waving at her and pulled a chair out of his hut.

"You probably want to sit."

She nodded and sat down. "Thank you. But even sitting is uncomfortable after some time."

He sat down next to her on the floor. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm afraid my shoes won't fit soon anymore and my back hurts but other than that I'm good. And I'm hungry all the time but I'm growing a human-" She shrugged and leaned further into the chair. Yeah, this was better. Shuri had designed the perfect pregnancy pillow for her and she really got a good sleep every night but she didn't want to take the pillow everywhere with her.

"Steve treating you right?"

"Of course."

"Good." He looked up because one of the goats was stuck in a small sinkhole. He got up and helped the goat out. "Jesus Christ, Sam! I can't let you out of my sight for two minutes!"

"Sam?" She raised an eyebrow in amusement. Did he name that goat after Wilson?

He smirked. "He's not the brightest. I thought Sam was fitting." Yeah, he definitely named that goat after Sam. Steve had mentioned that the two didn't get along too well. It was probably jealousy.

Barnes sat down next to her again and looked at her with interest. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Very funny, Romanoff." He rolled his eyes. "Why did you turn Steve's proposal down? He just wants to do what's right."

So Steve had told him about that. Great. "Two people don't have to get married just because they are expecting a child. A marriage should be between two people who love each other, who want to spend the rest of their lives together and not just the guy asking the girl out of guilt because he knocked her up."

"That's what you think? That Stevie only asked because of the baby?" He chuckled. "Boy, I thought you would be better at this. I probably shouldn't tell you but believe me, Steve did not ask you because of the baby. Maybe the baby was the trigger but it was not the reason."

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? "He wouldn't have asked me if I wasn't pregnant."

Barnes smirked. "Maybe not now but he would have eventually. I bet on goat Sam's life that the punk would have proposed one day. Baby or no baby."

* * *

She couldn't stop thinking about what Barnes had been implying. Did Steve have feelings for her after all? Had she been wrong this entire time and he had slept with her because he did have feelings and not because he didn't have any? What would that mean for them? Should they start something? Something real? Would that complicate everything? Or would a relationship make things easier? Wouldn't the _chudo_ be happier if his parents were together? Lived together? Were in love?

It was almost midnight but she still walked to Steve's suite and knocked on his door. There was no way that she would be able to sleep tonight with all those questions running through her head.

He opened the door in only sweatpants and she tried her hardest to only look in his eyes and not at his chiseled chest. She really wanted to jump his bones, she was pretty sure that he could easily carry her, seven months pregnant or not.

"Everything okay?" He asked with worry on his face.

"Yes. No. I don't know." She didn't wait for an invitation and just walked in. She heard how Steve closed the door and turned around. "Why did you ask me to marry you?"

His face was unreadable. "You talked to Bucky?"

"Answer the question, please." She said softly hoping that something would change between them.

"I asked you because I wanted you to know that I would always be there for you. That I would be right by your side. Help you raise our child." He took a deep breath. "That I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But you made it clear that you only want me to be part of the _chudo's_ life."

Her heart started racing. "Why did you agree to that arrangement back then? Just sex between two friends."

He gave her a humorless laugh. "I agreed because I thought that you needed time to get used to the idea of us dating. To put a label on us. To admit that we are more than just friends. I agreed because I wanted you and I thought that was the only way to get you."

"You once said that you would never immediately sleep with a woman you like. That you would _court_ her. You never did that with me!"

"Nat, I've been trying to court you since DC! That's why I slept with you! I thought this was the next step of us officially getting together. I thought this whole time we were secretly dating! God, Nat! We went on a romantic weekend trip to Vermont! That's not something two fuckbuddies do! And then you told me that you were pregnant, and okay maybe I shouldn't have proposed right on the spot, but I thought that we would _finally_ really be together and then you practically ended things with me! You wouldn't let me kiss you or hold you. Or even let me sleep in the same bed with you. I thought you broke up with me! But then I realized that we were never even really together!"

"Oh." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had been so blind to everything. Of course they had been dating this whole time. The trip to Vermont, there had been sometimes nights where they had been sleeping in one bed without having sex, he had taken her to his mother's grave... "I thought this whole time the reason you slept with me was because you didn't have feelings for me. You just wanted to let some steam off. I thought you only proposed because of the baby."

"Nat, I slept with you because I love you. I proposed because I love you. Natasha, I love you!" He said full of emotion and her knees got weak. No one had ever told her before that they loved her.

But she remembered something, something that hurt her since she'd heard about it. "Then why did you kiss Sharon if you love me? I would never kiss someone-" She stopped because she realized what she had just implied. Shit.

Steve smiled but then got serious again. "I shouldn't have kissed her. And I am truly sorry. There is no excuse and I promise that I will never do it again. Peggy died, I didn't know what the Accords meant for you and me, and Sharon was just there. If I could take it back, I would."

She stepped forward. "I believe you." She cupped his face between her hands. "I'm not ready to get married." She laughed a little. "Even with a baby on the way. But I do want to be with you and our son has nothing to do with that." Steve rested his forehead against her and his hands landed on her waist. "I'm sorry I'm such a moron when it comes to love and romance."

"That's okay, sweetheart. I wasn't obvious enough. I should have said something ages ago." He brushed his lips against hers.

"I love you." She whispered softly before she kissed him with everything she had. She only pulled away because she needed air. "Take me to bed, soldier. I've been lusting after you for months."

He laughed and picked her up. "Yes, ma'am!" He replied with a wink and carried her to his bedroom.


	6. Chapter 6

_Eight Month_

Natasha felt like she was in heaven. She was sitting on her bed shoving a spoon full of ice cream into her mouth and looked at Steve who was massaging her swollen feet. She had enjoyed the walk through the village outside of Birnin Zana and the elephant baby had been very cute but she was now exhausted. She still did her daily yoga routine but she was nowhere near her usual fitness level. She wondered if Steve would still knead her feet and get her ice cream after the baby was born. Knowing him he probably would.

"Feeling better?" He switched to massaging her calf.

She nodded and offered him something from her ice cream. She knew how to share. "I don't think I can do entire hikes anymore." She rubbed her large belly. "Your son's getting too heavy."

One of his hands moved to cover hers on her stomach. "Only six more weeks and he's here. You've almost done it, sweetheart."

She smiled at him and held the pint of ice cream up. "Do you mind bringing that into the kitchen?" He took it from her. "Thank you. I think I'll take a nap. Join me?"

"Yes, I'll be right back." He gave her a quick kiss before he left the bedroom. They had decided pretty much the morning after they had officially gotten together that he would move into her suite. She liked living with him and she secretly dreamed about buying a house. Somewhere safe, somewhere peaceful where the _chudo c_ ould grow up.

She rolled onto her side spooning her pregnancy pillow and hoped that Steve would rub her spine when he got back. She was already drifting off when he slipped into bed and barely noticed him shoving up her shirt to massage her spine. She sighed happily and Steve buried his face in her hair. "I love you." She managed to mumble out before she fell asleep.

Her nap energized her enough for a glorious round of lovemaking after she had woken up. She had been insecure about Steve seeing her changed body and her stretch marks but he'd never once made her doubt that he didn't think she was beautiful or desirable. And he really seemed to like her bigger breasts. Even Steve Rogers was only a man at the end of the day.

She moved to lie on her back with a pillow underneath her, still basking in her afterglow. Steve was pressing kisses on her face and neck and stroking her belly. The _chudo_ was always quite active after his parents'd made love. She had read a lot of websites about sex and pregnancies but she wished she could just ask Laura how she felt during this time. Had she also felt like a goddess one minute and then like a whale because certain positions didn't work anymore? She just had so many questions for her. Had she been freaking out as well? Fearing that she would be a terrible mother? And Clint...God she missed him. This was the happiest time in her life and he wasn't here. He didn't even know that she was pregnant or that she was with Steve. She wished that she could just call him to tell him how happy she was about Steve and their baby but the risk that Ross was listening was too high. No one could know about the child.

He dropped his head next to hers on the pregnancy pillow. "What's on your mind?" He wrapped his arm possessively over her middle.

"Clint." She answered and turned her head to look at him.

Steve snorted and kissed her. "You're thinking about another man after I made love to you?" She rolled her eyes and he kissed her again. "You miss him, huh?"

She nodded tears forming in her eyes. She hated that the pregnancy made her unable to control her emotions. Last week she'd started crying during sex because she just loved Steve so much and he'd almost had a heart attack fearing that he'd hurt her. "He doesn't even know about us. He doesn't even know about the baby." She sniveled and wiped her tear away.

"He knows about us. Not about the baby but I think he knows about us." Steve said carefully.

"What? How? Not even Sam and Wanda knew that we were sleeping together and they lived with us at the facility." Her back started to hurt and she rolled onto her side facing him.

"It was just something he said when we suited up for Leipzig." His arm sneaked behind her to rub on her lower back. "He said something like 'I have no idea how to explain this to Laura and Nat's probably pretty mad at you'. It wasn't much but the way he said, comparing his relationship with his wife to mine with you...I think he knows."

It would make sense. Clint knew her better than anyone, aside from Steve, and he hadn't noticed anything between her and Bruce since there never really had been anything between them. She had tried to run away from her feelings for Steve and she had known that nothing would have ever really happened between her and Bruce. He would have never been what she wanted and needed. Steve had always been what she wanted and needed. And he always would. "I still want to talk to him. I want to personally tell him that I finally found what he has with Laura." Steve beamed at her and she smiled back. She wasn't ready to marry him yet but she knew that he was the one. "I want to tell him that he's gonna be an uncle. He did so much for me, believed in me when no one else did and now that I have the life he always wanted for me...He doesn't even know about it."

More tears streamed down her face and she would have been embarrassed if anyone besides Steve had seen them. He tugged her against his chest as best as he could with a baby between them and kissed the top of her head. "I'll think of something. There has to be a way to contact him without Ross noticing."

They had originally planned to go to a restaurant in Birnin Zana since the Wakandans didn't care about two fugitive Avengers and they could freely walk around and explore this amazing city but she was too tired to go anywhere so Steve cooked something for them in the small kitchen that came with her suite. The doctor had recommended to have as many date nights as possible since they wouldn't have time for it once the baby was born. Steve even lit candles and pulled her chair out and the evening was very nice but she couldn't stop thinking about Clint. And the family she had left behind. _Lila would be over the moon if she knew that she would be a cousin soon._

* * *

Steve and Bucky, she was now comfortable with calling him that, were assembling the crib and the changing table. She and Steve decided to stay in Wakanda for a few weeks after the baby was born and then they would leave the country not wanting to overstay their welcome. And she was yearning after her own place were she could be alone with Steve and their son. They did consider reuniting with Sam and Wanda so they'd have more people to protect the baby. Bucky wanted to stay in Wakanda but she knew that he would come with them if they asked him to. She just had to find the perfect place where they could stay for a while since moving around with an infant wouldn't be possible. Canada was too close to Ross, they had to go somewhere with a good infrastructure. They should probably go to Europe. Wales was out of the question since people would notice if suddenly another woman and a baby were living with those three strangers. Maybe Scandinavia. Back to Denmark or go to Sweden. Wouldn't the incoming winter be too cold for the _chudo_? And suddenly she knew where they could locate to. She just had to find the right people to buy a house from. They would go to New Zealand. It was the other end of the world, not that tight with America and had a good health care system. She was sure that Wanda could make the pediatrician forget that they had Captain America and Black Widow's baby as a patient.

Steve was cursing at the crib and Bucky was laying defeated on the ground with a drawer from the changing table on his stomach. Who would have thought that baby furniture from a Wakandan store was too much for two super soldiers. She chuckled and finished her email to a New Zealand realtor posing as an heiress (old money always wanted to stay anonymous) who was looking for a house for her family.

"You boys need help?" She put her laptop away and looked at them.

Steve shook his head. "No, thank you. You have to rest, sweetheart. I know you're tired from our morning walk."

Bucky only grunted and she heaved herself pretty ungracefully off the couch to help them. She had helped Clint with Lila's room when Laura had been pregnant so she kind of knew what to do. Clint would have assembled everything in ten minutes and then jumped on the couch to watch Dog Cops with Cooper and Lila. She smiled at the memory and got to work. Both crib and table were done after half an hour.

"Steeeve?" She singsonged while Bucky helped her up from the floor. She was so hungry, she could eat a horse.

He laughed because he already knew that she wanted something. "Yes, Nat?"

"Your son wants waffles with strawberries and chocolate and caramel syrup...And bacon dipped in chocolate with chili flakes on an extra plate!"

Bucky grimaced. "Bacon with chocolate?"

"Are you sure that the little _chudo_ wants that?" Steve asked with an amused grin. She always used the baby as an excuse when she wanted something. She knew that Steve would get her anything she wanted but she felt kind of vulnerable depending on him so much.

She nodded. "Yes."

He laughed. "Okay, sweetheart. If you say so. You want some too, Buck?"

"Yeah, but only the waffles."

Bucky left after dinner and she'd only thrown one knife at him when he'd made fun of her cravings. He'd easily caught the knife with the new bionic arm that Shuri had designed for him. It was truly beautiful with its gold lines and Bucky had said that this arm was so much better than the one HYDRA had given him.

She was sitting in the lukewarm water of the bathtub, her sore muscles were screaming for a hot bath but the pregnancy made it impossible, thinking about names for the baby. Steve had said that she should be the one naming their son since she was doing all the work but she honestly couldn't think of any names she liked. She couldn't name her son David or Michael, it just wasn't special enough. Her little _chudo_ should have a special name. But she did know that his last name was going to be Rogers. She had no real attachment to Romanoff, she couldn't even properly remember her parents but she knew how much his family and name meant to Steve. He was the proud son of Sarah Rogers and Natasha thought that their son should have his grandmother's last name.

She called for Steve so he could help her get out of the bathtub and he rubbed oil over her belly after she toweled herself dry. It was a daily routine that both of them enjoyed and he helped her get into one of the silken night gowns that Queen Ramonda had gifted to her. She was hoping that the gowns could be taken in once she had her old figure back since she loved the feeling of the silk on her skin so much.

Steve waited for her until she found a position in bed that she was most comfortable with; she wasn't really comfortable anymore and couldn't wait for the baby to come but she still had four and a half weeks to go; and then he joined her in bed spooning her from behind resting his hand on her belly. She loved cuddling with Steve and was already looking forward to when it would be the three of them laying in bed cuddling and she missed the times where she could use Steve as her pillow. She just loved to sleep on top of him with his arms wrapped around her, she'd even done it before she knew that he loved her. How could she have not realized that they had been in a relationship.

The _chudo_ kicked against Steve's hand and they both laughed. She really hoped that he wouldn't be kicking her bladder tonight and she didn't have to go to the toilet too much.

"I love you, Nat." He whispered against her neck. "I love you and the _chudo_ so much."

She intertwined her fingers with his on her stomach. "We love you, too. God, I love you so fucking much."

He chuckled. "No cursing in front of the child."

"I'm not the one who cursed at a poor innocent crib this afternoon. You almost made me blush with those profanities." She turned her head to look at him and Steve seemed to decide to kiss the grin of her face. He licked his way into her mouth but she pulled away. "Don't get me excited, I'm too tired."

He laughed and pecked her lips before pulling her back against his chest. "Goodnight my love. Goodnight little _chudo."_

* * *

Natasha just came back from a stroll through the botanic garden next to the palace craving some ice cream when someone called her name. She turned around and came face to face with a beautiful woman who had something about her. She took a closer look and recognized her as one of her own. She knew a spy when she saw one.

"Yes?"

The woman offered her a warm smile and her hand. "I'm Nakia. I have something for you." She handed her a smartphone. "One of our War Dogs managed to give one of these to Clint Barton. They are untraceable. No one will manage to listen in on your calls."

"What?" She asked softly. Did she now have a way to contact Clint without Ross finding out? After seeing all the wonderful things that Shuri had invented, she had no doubt that these phones were secure.

"It took a bit of a charade to get them to Clint Barton but we succeeded without the FBI or CIA getting suspicious. He's waiting for your call, I think." She smiled showing perfect white teeth. "Captain Rogers mentioned that you missed your family and T'challa and I had to head to New York anyway so it was no trouble to get one of these to Barton."

"Oh God!" She couldn't believe it! She could talk to Clint and Laura! She would hear Lila's voice again! "Thank you so much. I can't tell you how much this means to me. I'm so grateful to you and T'challa!"

"I'm just glad that we could help you. Family is very important and it's not fair that yours is ripped apart by some policy."

"Thank you, Nakia. I owe you."

She shook her head. "No, you don't." She patted her arm lightly. "Have a nice afternoon, Natasha." And with that Nakia left and Natasha hurried to her suite to call Clint.

Steve was training with the Dora Milaje today and she had the suite to herself. She had forgotten all about her ice cream and made herself comfortable on the bed holding the phone in her hands. She was incredibly moved by what T'challa and Nakia had done for her. Maybe it had been just something small for them, but to her it meant the world. She just missed Clint and his family so much and she felt like the pregnancy was just amplifying it.

There was only one number in the phone's contacts and she pressed on it excitedly. She hoped that Clint wasn't busy at the moment and could answer her call. The kids and Laura were probably at school and work but she could call again. She could call them now any time she wanted!

"Hello?"

"Clint?" She asked breathlessly. Had it already been almost eight months since the last time she had heard his voice?

"Tasha!" Clint laughed and she couldn't help but join him. "God, it's so good to hear your voice!"

She blinked her tears away. God, how she missed that pizza eating coffee junkie! "Hi!"

"Hi yourself! Good how are you? You just missed Laura and the kids!"

She rubbed her belly. "I'm good." She would tell him about everything after he had the chance to update her on his life. "How are you? How are Laura and the kids?"

"I'm good so far. House arrest is a bitch but I know my way around an ankle monitor to at least walk around the property. There's no way that I let Laura do all the work on the farm on her own. She was pretty pissed at the beginning and the kids were confused but we found a routine." He chuckled lightly. "We made it work and at least we don't have to put Nate into kindergarten since I'm here all the time. The kids miss you, Tasha. We all miss you. God, I was so worried. I know that you can take care of yourself but I was worried that you were all on your own. How exactly did you end up being friends with the king of Wakanda?"

She laughed. "That's a longer story."

"Well, I have no place to be so..."

She rolled her eyes at his dry humor. "Well, it starts with Steve. He's more of a friend to T'challa than I am, I guess."

"Steve, huh?" She could practically see Clint grinning.

"Yes, Steve. He tracked me down with the clues I gave you and then we eventually decided to stay in Wakanda for a while. For safety reasons."

"Did they find you? Are you getting sloppy, Tasha?" He teased.

"No!" She replied almost offended. "It was a precaution. There's something I have to tell you-"

"I already know that you and Steve are banging." Clint interrupted her.

"How do you even know that?" She was actually curious. She had always made sure that no one could realize that she and Steve were intimate.

He laughed. "Remember when you and the others came over for a weekend last summer? I saw you and Steve sneaking out of the barn looking both disheveled and satisfied."

 _Oh._ It had been way after midnight and she had been sure that everyone had been asleep. She had told Steve to meet her there so no one could hear them..." Why did you never say anything to me?"

"I figured that if you wanted me to know that you would tell me something. I'm glad you chose him. He's good for you."

"Well, I'm glad you approve, _dad._ " She chuckled, already knowing that he would approve of Steve. Who wouldn't want their best friend to date someone as great as Steve. "There's something else I have to tell you. The real reason we're hiding here." She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant, Clint." She whispered. "The baby's coming next month."

"What?" He whispered back. "How? I thought you were-"

"Apparently Steve has super swimmers." She giggled and the little _chudo_ kicked her. "Apparently Captain America can make the impossible possible."

"Holy shit! Wow! Congratulations, Natasha!" He sounded amazed. "I can't believe- Wow! I'm really happy for you. You're gonna be a great mom! Your baby is so lucky to get you as their mom!"

"It's a boy."

"A little Cap jr., huh?"

"I hope so!" She replied, wishing again that her son would be like his father and not like her.

"Wow, you're pregnant. Laura's gonna freak out! You're gonna have to call later today so she can talk to you."

"I will. I have so many questions for her!" The _chudo_ was really active right now, probably sensing that she was very happy at the moment. "I miss you, Clint."

"I miss you, too. You have to send me a photo of you pregnant! I'm sure these super phones are capable of that."

She was getting sleepy but she didn't want to end the phone call. " I will. Thank you for everything. I am so happy and without you changing my life all those years ago...None of this would have happened."

"You don't have to thank me, kiddo. You did that all by yourself."

"I love you, Clint." She had never told him that before.

"I love you, too. You're the little sister I never wanted." She could hear the smile in his voice.

She placed the phone on her stomach so Clint could to talk to his nephew and she fell asleep with his comforting voice in the background.

* * *

 _Your feedback is highly appreciated and makes me smile:)_


	7. Chapter 7

_Ninth Month_

Steve didn't notice the death glare she was giving him when he rolled from his back onto his stomach. He didn't notice anything because he was fast asleep while she couldn't sleep at all. Everything hurt and she couldn't find any lying position that was even remotely close to being comfortable. She didn't get much sleep these days, the baby kept her awake and even when he was quiet, she couldn't lie comfortably down. She hated being this pregnant. She was _huge._ Her belly was ginormous and she couldn't even remember what her feet looked like. She wanted the baby to come but she still had 23 days until the expected due date. Steve was lightly snoring and she clenched her jaw. It wasn't fair that his stupid super swimmers got her into this and he could sleep like the dead while she desperately needed some fucking sleep! She tried to get out of bed but it was pointless. She couldn't really get up anymore without any help. She considered waking Steve but decided against it. At least one of them should get some sleep. He should try to get his sleep now because there was no way that she would get up in the middle of the night when their son was here. No, he would do that. They invented breast pumps and feeding bottles for a reason! She reached for her phone on the nightstand and scrolled through the photos the Bartons had sent her. God, Nate was already so big! She eventually fell asleep with the phone still in her hand.

Bucky visited them and they were sitting on the balcony of the suite watching Birnin Zana. Steve had told her that this city looked like what he and Bucky had envisioned the future would look like. They were both still disappointed that there were no flying cars. She personally thought that a quinjet was cooler than a flying car but whatever. The boys were sipping beer while she had to drink an iced tea. God, she missed vodka. She was daydreaming about the time when she could finally drink a martini again. Bucky was telling one of the many stories about Steve getting beaten up because he had to help someone. She was smiling into her glass, his sense for justice was one of the many reasons she loved him so much. He hoped that her son would get his father's sense for truth and justice as well. The world needed more people like Steve Rogers.

Barnes left after the sun set down saying that the _lovebirds should have some quality time_ but the times where she let Steve into her pants were over. She was feeling way too unsexy for any bedroom activities even though the OB/GYN had said that intercourse was technically possible until the water broke. She could see that Steve still found her desirable but she wasn't in the mood. Sex had been what had gotten her into this mess. She had thought about wanting more children since the second trimester and the first part of the third had been amazing and she felt like a goddess with Steve treating her like one but now...Everything hurt, she felt like she was growing an alien inside of her. She couldn't understand how women did this more than once. Maybe they forgot how horrible the end of the pregnancy was and only remembered when it was already too late and they were already knocked up. She would be long on birth control before she let Steve's supersperm anywhere near her again.

Just the thought of having to press this giant baby out of her was making her lose her mind. Steve had incredibly broad shoulders and while she usually found that pretty hot, the thought that their son could have inherited them and she had to press him out...My _poor vagina! Ugh, why couldn't Steve keep it in his pants?_

Steve helped her into her night gown and then onto the bed. "This is all your fault!" She groaned while he shoved a pillow behind her back.

"I know." He smiled. That fucker actually smiled.

"Why did you have to wear that stupid white shirt?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What? What white shirt? I'm wearing a grey one right now."

She shook her head. "No, not now! You wore a white shirt when you fixed your bike in the garage. Wearing a white shirt while working with oil and grease is pretty dumb by the way. You were fixing your bike all manly when I walked in and you wore these tight jeans. Why are you always wearing too tight clothes?" She rambled while Steve pushed her gown up so he could watch their son move under her skin.

"What are you- _Oh._ You mean the afternoon I was working on my bike and you practically ambushed me in the garage? We were lucky that no one walked in on us!" He blushed slightly, definitely remembering that certain afternoon. It had been a few days before they had left for Lagos and they'd had sex in the garage and then she had dragged him to her room because she hadn't been done with him. "Why are you talking about this now?" The _chudo's_ foot was visible and Steve pressed his finger against it.

"I'm pretty sure that's the day we made our son. And if you hadn't worn this tight white shirt then I wouldn't have jumped you and I wouldn't be so miserable right now. Everything hurts, Steve. And I'm so tired all the time."

"I know, sweetheart. Just a few more days and then you're done. All of this will be over and you'll have our beautiful baby in your arms, okay?" He leaned over her and kissed her forehead. "You're doing such a great job, Nat. I know how much you're doing for our son and it makes me fall in love with you all over again. You are doing so great, my love."

Tears were swelling in her eyes. "Okay." She nodded and kissed him. "I'm really nervous."

"Me, too." He admitted and kissed her again. "But we have each other. We are in this together." His hand cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. God, she loved it when he touched her. Even if those touches had led to her situation right now. "Forever, sweetheart."

"Forever." She agreed and kissed him again.

* * *

Steve and she decided to visit Bucky and the goats at his hut before she couldn't really move at all. Maybe it were all those hormones cursing through her body but she grew pretty attached to those little animals. She had been both offended and touched that Bucky had named his newest addition to his flock Natasha when goat Steve had shown interest in her. Bucky swore that those two goats were together now. Was that even a thing with goats?!

Steve helped her into a chair and they watched Bucky taking care of his animals. "He seems pretty happy here."

Steve nodded. "Yeah. A selfish part of me wants him to come with us to New Zealand but I know that he's happier here for the moment. He's always been by my side..."

She ran her hand through his long hair. She had watched the strong bond between Steve and Bucky in the last weeks and even felt included in it. Bucky had taken her to the side and promised that he would always be there for her and the baby. "It doesn't mean that he'll live here forever. Maybe he'll change his mind. And he can come visit us if he wants to."

Steve leaned his head against her thigh. "I want him to."

She smiled down at him. "He is always welcome."

"It would have been nice to have a babysitter so mommy and daddy can have some time for themselves." He turned his head and smirked up at her. "It's important to keep the fire alive, Nat."

She rolled her eyes at him. "That fire is the furthest thing on my mind right now, mister." She raised her finger playfully at him. "It's gonna be a while until you get'll anywhere near my panties again."

Bucky started laughing and she felt her cheeks getting warm. She had no idea that he could hear them.

A black SUV drove down the hill and stopped a few meters before the hut. She was a bit confused, they had told the drive to pick them up in the evening. The door opened and Wanda jumped out of the car running towards them.

What was she doing here?

"Your belly is so big!" She said before throwing her arms around Natasha's neck.

Natasha returned the hug perplexed. She saw over Wanda's shoulder that Sam was getting out of the car. Steve was greeting him. "Not that I'm not happy to see you-"

Wanda pulled away. "But you're surprised? Two Tall Women were suddenly standing at our doorstep inviting us to Wakanda. The Queen arranged everything. We here for the baby's birth." She smiled, her hand hovering over Natasha's stomach. "Can I?"

She nodded.

Wanda placed her hand gently on her belly, a wide smile appearing on her face. "He's dreaming, I think. Not real pictures, it's more of a feeling. He dreams about your voice. And Steve's. He will be soon ready to meet you."

"You can feel all of this?" She asked in amazement.

Wanda nodded. "Yes. He loves you very much."

She blinked her tears away and saw Sam walking towards her. "You look great, Nat." He kissed her cheek as a welcome. "How's the little dude? How are you?"

"We're good. I don't wanna be pregnant anymore, though."

Sam laughed. "My sister was the same. My mother said to her that she would have the next 18 years for revenge. I guess that's why she wouldn't buy me a car when I turned 16." He turned around and made a slight grimace when he spotted Barnes. But then he grinned when he saw that one of the goats was stuck with its head between the little fence around the hut. Natasha bit her lip in amusement. "Hey, hobo! One for your goats got stuck! Haha, of course _your_ goat would be so dumb!"

Bucky walked over to goat Sam to help him. "Oh, him?" He smiled innocently. "That's just Sam. He gets stuck a lot."

"Did you name your fucking goat after me?!"

"So?" Barnes was still feigning innocence. "Those two are Steve and Natasha." He pointed at the two goats under the tree.

"You mean the two that are cuddling like they belong on those Instagram accounts with those cute animals? And I get the one stuck in a fence?!"

"Steve's the leader of the herd. Natasha is independent and helping Steve with keeping the herd in check. And they are obviously in love. I thought the names were fitting." Bucky was grinning now. "Well, and Sam...He means well but he's pretty dumb."

* * *

Sam was still a bit pissed that goat Sam was named after him but Natasha couldn't really understand it. Goat Sam was pretty cute and liked to get fondled under his chin. She liked goat Sam. Wanda's eyes lit up when Bucky promised her that he would name the next goat after her. It was actually pretty sweet that Bucky was naming his goats after them. Sam had to stop acting like a baby.

The realtor had sent her exposes of beautiful houses and she and Steve were going through them on her laptop. Sam and Wanda agreed to come with them to New Zealand to help protect the baby. Wanda seemed especially excited to move to the other side of the world since she hadn't seen much of it. Maybe Sam would be so kind to go with Wanda to Australia for a trip. She didn't feel comfortable leaving Wanda on her own after what had happened with the Raft but she didn't think a road trip with a baby was something that she wanted to do.

The laptop was on Steve's lap and they were looking at the third house. It looked really promising. It had a big yard, even a pool house where Wanda could move in so she had her own little place, and the house was big enough for her, Steve, the baby and Sam. It was outside of a small town near Auckland and they would even be able to hide the quinjet on the property. The pediatricians of the town had excellent reviews and went all to good medical schools. Wanda assured them that she could make the doctors forget who their patients were in case they figured it out.

"I like this one." Steve whispered and kissed her temple. "It has enough space for all of us and it just has a certain charm." He clicked on the blue prints of the house. "And there's a room right next to the master bedroom that's perfect for a nursery."

"I like it, too. I think we should make an offer." She buried her face in his neck to breathe his scent in. Hm, he smelled so good. She couldn't wait to live with him in their own house. Sleep in their own bed. Build a _home_ with him. "I love you." She whispered into his skin. His hand that was rubbing circles on her back stopped and moved up to the back of her head to pull her into a deep kiss.

"And I love you. I know none of this, of us, has happened traditionally and it kills me that I can't give you everything that you deserve. A home in the States, near your family but I promise you that I will always be by your side. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know now why I had to sleep for seventy years. For _you._ " His other hand landed on her belly. "For you and him."

She didn't stop the tears running down her face. Steve had given her more than she could have ever imagined. She didn't know that she had been lost until him. She could never tell him how much it meant to her that someone as good and pure as him loved _her_. That he had given her something she had never thought she had wanted. "Steve?"

He kissed her tears away. "Hm?"

"You are the love of my life." She took a deep breath. "Will you marry me?" She didn't know why she asked him but it felt right. There would never be anyone else for her.

Steve smiled brightly and cupped her face. "Yes, I'll marry you."

* * *

They decided to keep their engagement a secret until the baby was born. She had told Steve that she didn't want to get married while she was still pregnant. She'd never dreamed about a wedding but she realized that she wanted to wear a white dress and not look like a balloon. And she _definitely_ wanted to have a wedding night. They didn't know how they would get married. Maybe they could come back to Wakanda for the wedding so it would be legal. She didn't want to get married with fake identities. No, she wanted their real names on the marriage license. And she would change her surname so she had the same name as Steve and their son.

Steve looked a bit guilty that he couldn't get her a ring but she honestly didn't care about that. She wasn't a big diamond girl. A wedding band one day was more than enough. She was just sad that Clint and the rest of her family wouldn't be there but maybe they could livestream the whole thing.

She was just coming back from her OB/GYN appointment with Steve, both happy that the c _hudo_ was doing great and getting ready for his birth, when General Okoye and Nakia were walking towards them.

"I'm sorry to bother you but I have to ask a big favor, Captain Rogers." Nakia said with a guilty look on her face. "I know the timing's bad but we have a mission for you."

"What?" Natasha asked quietly, already fearing the worst.

"It's nothing really dangerous." Okoye said with a small smile. "A group of young women and girls has been taken hostage in Nigeria and we usually would rescue them ourselves but with Wakanda having a more prominent role in the world, we can't get caught operating on foreign land."

Nakia nodded. "Yes. Maximoff and Wilson have already agreed but it would be wise if they had back up. We will provide a plane and weaponry."

Steve turned to look at her. "Natasha?"

She didn't want Steve to leave. She hated to admit it but she needed him. She felt vulnerable and insecure this pregnant without him here to protect and comfort her. But those girls had to be saved and they all would've left immediately if she wasn't pregnant. And the baby wasn't due for another week. "You should go." She nodded more to herself than to him. "You have to go. The _chudo_ and I will be fine. And I still have Bucky." She knew that nothing could happen to her here but she also knew that Barnes would protect her in her current defenseless state if someone would come for her.

Steve looked at her with a sad smile. She knew that he didn't want to go but that he knew that he had to. "Okay." He turned to look at Nakia and Okoye. "I will be right with you. Just give me a sec." They nodded and left to give them some privacy. "I'll be back before you know it, sweetheart." He cupped her face and kissed her deeply. "I love you." He pressed a kiss to her forehead and then bent down to press one on her stomach. "And I love you. Be good to your mommy."

She watched Steve walking down the corridor with her hand on her belly. "Looks like it's just you and me, now." The _chudo_ kicked her. "I know I already miss him, too."

* * *

 _Only one more chapter left where we meet someone very special *wink wink*_


	8. Chapter 8

Natasha closed the laptop with a smile on her face. The owners of their dream house accepted her offer and the house was theirs. She couldn't wait to tell Steve. She was more than relieved that the living situation was dealt with before the baby was born. She quickly sent Clint a text to let him know about the house and she got a photo of Lila's latest drawing in return. She hadn't told Clint about the engagement yet and she wanted to wait until they were settled in New Zealand.

Steve had been gone for one day and she really hoped that they would find the girls soon so that he could come back to her. She just felt lonely and somehow raw without him by her side. She kind of hated this side of the pregnancy, that it had change her emotional balance so much. She enjoyed the fact that she could love so much but she hated it that she had gotten so vulnerable.

There was a knock on the door and she already knew who it was. Bucky had barely left her side since Steve's departure yesterday taking care of her. She was glad that he was now her friend as well.

"Hi." He smiled and pushed a box of chocolate bars into her hands. "I found this in Sam's suite."

She smirked and rolled her eyes. "Did you steal this from him?"

Bucky just shrugged and walked into the suite. She should probably not eat the candy and give it back to Sam. Probably. "You wanna watch anything? Play cards?"

She shook her hand and heaved herself onto the couch. "No. Tell me about Steve as a child."

He sat down next to her with a fond and bright smile on his face. "Oh, boy. Where to start?"

Bucky told her many stories about Steve as a kid and she couldn't stop smiling. He truly had a heart out of gold and she could hear in Bucky's voice how much Steve meant to him. He asked her about her and Steve and she admitted that she had been probably longer in love with him than she realized.

"I always knew that Steve would find someone one day. Even when he was a shrimp. That one day the girls wouldn't be so superficial anymore and notice what a good man he is. He's the best man I know."

"He says the same about you."

"Ha." Bucky shook his head with a humorless laugh. "I don't think so."

"Well, he does and I agree. I obviously think that Steve's the best man but you're pretty close. You're in the top 10." She smiled and placed her hand on his. "You're a good man, James Buchanan Barnes."

And she suddenly knew the perfect name for her son.

* * *

Barnes was still here and agreed to make her something to eat, even though he grimaced when she told him what she was hungry for. She really hoped that he would be nicer to his pregnant girlfriend if he ever got into the situation. She was done in the bathroom and on her way back to the living room when she felt something wet running down her leg. Did she really just pee her pants? She had just been in the bathroom! She pushed her hand into her leggings and pulled it back to her face. Uh oh, that wasn't urine. No, no, no. Her water _did not_ just break. No, she refused to accept that. The _chudo_ still had five days left and Steve wasn't here at the moment. No, she was not going into labor! She ran as fast as possible into the bedroom to change her underwear and put new leggings on.

"Your dinner is almost ready!" Bucky yelled from the kitchen.

"Thanks!" She went back to the couch and tried to calm herself. She still had time. There were no contractions yet and Steve could already be on his way back. She took deep breaths and rubbed her belly. "Please wait for your father. I can't do this without him!"

Barnes' voice came from the kitchen again."Did you say something?"

"Uh, just talking to the baby!"

She felt pain in her lower stomach after dinner but that could have been the food or maybe just Braxton Hicks contractions which she was already familiar with. Bucky stayed to watch a movie with her but she was not paying any attention to the plot. He was laughing from time to time so she figured they were watching a comedy. No, she was watching her phone to check the time. The contractions lasted longer than Braxton Hicks and were more frequent. The first contractions had been twenty minutes apart and now it were only ten. She was in labor. Fuck!

"Natasha, are you okay?"

She was clenching her jaw trying to ignore the pain. "Yes...I'm fine."

Bucky eyed her carefully. "You don't look so good."

"Don't ever say that to a pregnant woman, you ass." She said through gritted teeth. "Oh fuck!"

"Natasha? What's wrong?"

She wanted to wait for Steve but she knew that she couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't risk the baby. "I think I'm in labor."

Bucky's whole face went pale but then something snapped in him. "Okay. Do you have a hospital bag?"

"Yes-" Another contraction hit her. Son of a bitch! That fucking hurt and it was just the start! "Behind the bedroom door."

Bucky left to get it and came with the bag on his shoulder back. "I'm taking you to the medical wing. Can you walk?"

"Yes." She snarled because there was no way that she would let him carry her through half the palace. She did have some dignity. Bucky gently grabbed her arm and led her to the front door. "I don't want to do this without him."

"I know." Barnes said softly. "I'm sorry that he's not here with you."

In the end Bucky did have to carry her to the medical wing and she was sure that she didn't have to say that she would kill him if he ever told anyone about this. The nurses helped her into a hospital gown that looked way too fancy and she almost killed them when they told her that she couldn't have anything to drink. How were those fucking ice chips supposed to stop her thirst? She wanted a fucking glass of water!

The contractions were getting stronger, lasted longer and came quicker but her cervix had only dilated to four centimeters so there was still time and she desperately hoped that Steve would miraculously show up. He couldn't miss the birth of his son!

Barnes was gone looking for someone of the Dora Milaje to get news about Steve's whereabouts but she wished that he was here. He wasn't her Steve but she felt so lonely right now. And her back was killing her and she had to pee! The medical staff was taking her blood pressure, putting a fetal monitor on her belly and telling her that everything looked good so far. She tried to remember the breathing techniques from her Lamaze class but her brain was empty. _Where was Steve when you needed him?_

She got out of bed after the medical check up with her hand on her back and walked through the room. Maybe she should have said yes to that epidural... She was just walking out of the joined bathroom when Bucky came back.

"And?"

"They are in the middle of rescuing the hostages."

Fuck! She was happy for the girls but that would most likely mean that Steve would miss the birth of his own son. God, hadn't he sacrificed enough?

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Yes. I don't know." Another contraction hit her and she groaned in pain. "Help me back into the bed. Please."

He did and handed her the ice chips. "Anything else you need?"

 _Steve, I need Steve._ He was supposed to be here. He was supposed to cut the umbilical cord. "Just tell me something. Anything. I don't care what."

And Barnes started to talk. He talked about his goats, about the jobs he'd had before he'd joined the army and he told her about his sister. She listened but he couldn't distract her from the pain and the fact that her fiance wasn't here.

The doctor came to check her cervix. It was now at seven centimeters, the final part of labor had started. Steve would definitely miss the birth.

* * *

She now had been in labor for eight hours and her cervix was almost completely dilated. She was sure that when the doctor would check again that it would be at ten centimeters. She yelling at everyone because she felt so miserable. The pain was worse than she could have ever imagined and she wasn't even at the part where she had to push the baby out. She already felt the urge to push but she knew that she wasn't allowed to. She tried her breathing techniques but it just felt pointless. She didn't feel any better. Did the teacher of the Lamaze class even have children? She gave her hope up that Steve would somehow still show up. He wouldn't be here in time. She had to do it alone.

Her doctor came back in and went between her legs to check again. "We got our ten centimeters, Natasha. It's time."

She willed her tears away and nodded. "Okay." She couldn't believe that her Steve wasn't here. He would never forgive himself for missing this.

"I know you want Steve here but I'm with you, Natasha." Bucky said with a smile smile and she nodded. At least she wasn't completely alone.

The end of her bed disappeared and her legs got popped up. "I want you to push when the next contraction comes. Okay?" The doctor asked and looked up at her.

"Okay." She had to pull herself together and not feel sorry for herself. She had to focus on the baby. She grabbed Bucky's hand and he smiled down at her.

"Push only with the contraction. Once it stops, you stop pushing."

She nodded and like on cue the contraction hit her. She squeezed Bucky's hand probably to mush but she didn't really care and started to push. Oh God, this was the worst pain ever! She felt like she was pushing forever and then the contraction stopped. Why was the baby not out yet?

"Good job, Natasha." The doctor complimented her. "You're doing great."

The door suddenly flung open and Steve was standing there. _Steve!_ Was she hallucinating? A nurse was trying to get him out of his combat jacket. "Did I miss it?"

"About time, punk!" Bucky yelled and let go of her hand. "You just made it in time."

Steve quickly ran to her and took Bucky's place next to her. "Hi, sweetheart." He kissed her sweaty forehead. "I'm so sorry I almost missed it."

Tears were streaming down her face. "I'm scared."

"I know. But you can do it. You're the strongest person I know."

She wanted to answer him but another contraction came and she had to push. Steve took her hand and let her squeeze it to mush and whispered sweet nothings to her. How great she was doing, how beautiful she was and how much he loved her.

"I'm never sleeping with you again!" She snapped between two contractions and Steve just smiled and reminded her to breathe like they had been taught. Really, she was never going to go through this ever again. They could get a dog for the _chudo._

"I can't believe you did this to me! This is all your fault."

"You're doing so great, Nat. So great."

"Fuck you, Rogers!"

The doctor decided to interrupt them. "I can see the head. You almost made it, Natasha."

Steve moved to look but she pulled him back to her. "There's no way I'm letting you see this. I want you to remember my vagina the way it used to be!"

"I thought you never wanted to have sex with me again?!" He teased with a grin and kissed her temple.

"Fuck you." She simply said.

His smile grew wider. "He's almost here, sweetheart. You can do this."

Another three painful contractions and then it was suddenly over. She heard a surprised cry and then a baby was on her naked chest. _Her baby. Their baby._

He was covered in blood and vernix caseosa but he was perfect. "Hi. Hi, my little _chudo_." She whispered and all that pain was forgotten. She looked up at Steve who had tears in his eyes and looked completely smitten. "This is your son."

"Hi." He whispered softly and covered both their son's head and her hand on his neck with his. "Welcome." Steve kissed her softly. "You did so good, Nat. So good."

She pecked his lips and then looked back at her son. God, he was so perfect and she already loved him so much. Everything in her life had led to this moment. Everything she'd had to endure had been for this. For _him_. And she would do it all again, all that pain and torture of the Red Room, she would do everything again if it meant that she would fall for Steve and have this baby with him. Her perfect and beautiful son. God, he was so beautiful. She only noticed now that he had blond fuzz on his head. So he already had his father's hair. She wondered what else he had gotten from Steve when her son opened his eyes and it was like looking into her own.

"He has your eyes, Nat."

"Yeah." She breathed out, tears running down her face.

"Do you have a name yet?" The doctor asked. "For the identifying band."

"Do we?" Steve asked her, looking from their son to her.

She nodded. "Yes, we do." She kissed her son's head. " This is James. James Clinton Rogers."

THE END

* * *

 _Thank you all for reading and your comments!_


	9. Epilogue

_A surprise epilogue!_

* * *

"James, no! Don't do that! Put that down!"

Natasha just walked through the door when she heard Steve's voice booming through the house. She smiled to herself and braced herself wondering what James had done this time. He was four years old now and a smart and clever boy. Very active and always wanting to discover something new. She stepped into the living room of their brownstone house in Brooklyn and laughed at the sight before her. James had drawn all over Steve with markers and he had a hard time holding his son still to get the pens out of his tiny hands. James had a combination of both his parents' serums running through his veins and he was stronger and faster than any other four year old.

"Mama!" James had discovered her and managed to escape Steve's arms for good and was now running over to her. He was smiling brightly at her and she picked him up kissing his forehead.

"Hi, _chudo!"_ She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "Did you have fun with daddy?"

"Yes!" James nodded eagerly and pressed a wet kiss on her jaw. "I drew!"

"Yeah, on me!" Steve got up from the floor and walked over to them. "We told you not to draw on us, bud!" James only giggled and turned away when Steve kissed her on the lips. "Hi, sweetheart!"

"Hey." She used the arm that wasn't holding James to wrap around Steve's waist. "How was your day?"

Steve kissed her again and even after almost five years her heart was still fluttering in her chest. "Aside from him using me as a canvas?" He laughed and ran his hand through James' hair. "Good. We ate our veggies and walked around the neighborhood."

"I saw a puppy, mama!" James pulled his perfect little face from the crook of her neck away. "Can we get a puppy? Please, mommy!"

She thought about what she was going to tell Steve later tonight and how stressful the next months and years would be. A puppy would be too much. "Not now, James. Maybe when you're older, okay?" She didn't think that she imagined that not only James looked disappointed but she was sure that she could at least lift her husband's mood later. She had some pretty great news for him.

She put James down and took his hand. "You're gonna have to pack your bag because you have a sleepover with Uncle Bucky! How does that sound?"

Her son's eyes widened. He loved his Uncle Bucky a lot. "Really, mommy?"

"Yes. He's gonna be here soon so we better start packing, my _chudo_."

She watched James put his things together and only interjected a few times when he wanted to put something in his little suitcase that she didn't think was appropriate for a sleepover. She really didn't think that James would need his father's shield at Bucky's.

Steve's strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist and he pressed a kiss to her neck. "Our son won't be here tonight, huh?" James was with his back to them and deciding which of his stuffed animals to take with him. He wasn't paying any attention to his parents so she didn't mind Steve nibbling on her ear lope. "You got any special plans for the night?" He whispered into her ear.

"I do." She whispered back and stopped his wandering hand before it reached her breasts. Yes, she did have that in mind for tonight but she had to tell him something before that. Something _amazing._ She gave him a heated look before she walked over to her son to help him finish packing before Bucky was here.

She still sometimes couldn't believe it that they were all living in the States again. She knew how much it meant to Steve that their son could grow up in Brooklyn. And it meant the world to her that James now had all of his uncles and aunts in his life.

It had taken another alien invasion that had forced them to come out of hiding and all of them almost dying but the world forgave them and more importantly Tony had forgiven Steve. And then Stark almost had fainted when they'd introduced him to their son. And when they had casually mentioned that they were married Tony nearly had a heart attack. They had moved from New Zealand to Brooklyn over a year ago and it had been so great to see how much James liked living here. He had Tony wrapped around his little finger and he unknowingly had helped to ease the tension between Tony and Bucky. They weren't friends and but they got along well enough and that was more than Steve could have asked for. She and Steve still suited up from time to time but never went together on missions so James would still have one parent in the worst case scenario. She prayed that it would never come to that.

The doorbell rang and James sprinted down the stairs to let his uncle in. She wanted to follow him but Steve pressed her gently against the wall. "I sometimes think he likes Buck better than us." As on cue James was chanting _Uncle Bucky, Uncle Bucky_ downstairs. Steve brushed his lips over her cheek to her lips. "Do you want to go out tonight?" He kissed her softly and she pressed herself against him. No, she didn't want to go out. She had to tell him something that had to stay between them for some time. "You look beautiful today. Have I told you that yet?"

She smiled and pecked his lips. "You have. You tell me that every day, my love. I wanna stay in tonight. I already planned everything."

"You have?" He kissed her again and her knees got weak. Steve pretended to be a prude which made Tony comment that he had no idea how they had managed to make James but he definitely knew how to turn her into butter in his hands. "What kind of plans? We have the whole house to ourselves. And we haven't broken the new couch in yet." He wiggled his eyebrows and she had to snort. Steve was such a guy sometimes. And it was true, their love life was mostly happening in their bedroom when James was asleep.

"Stevie, get off your wife and say goodbye to your kid!"

Steve rolled his eyes at Bucky's comment but moved away from the wall to let her go. She gave him a quick kiss before she walked downstairs to say goodbye to her son. She was looking forward to have Steve all to herself and almost giddy when she thought about what she was going to tell him and she knew that James would be back tomorrow morning but she would still miss her boy. It was insane how much she loved him and that love was just going to grow bigger now.

James was already in his jacket and boots when they came downstairs. He ran over to her and hugged her leg. "Bye, mommy."

She picked him up and kissed him softly on the cheek. "Bye, sweetheart. Be good to your uncle, okay?" James nodded. "I love you."

"Love you." Her son answered and kissed her on the jaw. She chuckled lightly and handed him over to Steve.

"Have fun, bud. But not too much, okay?" Steve kissed James as well and then let him down. "We're gonna come over tomorrow morning to pick you up."

"Don't worry too much." Buck said mostly to her. "I'll take good care of him." She knew that. She knew that Bucky would never let anything happen to James. She would never forget the look on his face when he had held James in his arms for the first time. And the tears in his eyes when they had told him his name. "You enjoy a nice evening with the punk over here."

Steve rolled his eyes and walked his best friend and their son to the door. James turned around and waved with his little hand before Bucky took it and they left. She ignored the urge to run after them and concentrated on what she had planned. The food she ordered would be here soon and she wanted to freshen up before she told Steve her great news.

The dinner was already here when she came back downstairs and she basked in the looks Steve gave her when he saw her. She was only wearing a simple black dress and nothing else but he still looked at her like she was the sun.

He came over to her and wrapped his arms around her. "You take my breath away every time I look at you." He whispered against her temple and she was glad that her face was tugged against his neck and he didn't see her cheeks turning pink. Only Steve had that effect on her. "You are so beautiful. So amazing and brave. I love you so much, Nat. I thank my lucky stars every day that you married me."

She didn't know what to say, so she just kissed him. Soon her tongue was licking into his mouth and his hands were pushing her dress up so he could cup her bottom. He would never admit it to her out loud but he was such an ass man. She had to pause this because she almost forgot what she was going to tell him. They had the whole night to continue this and she was pretty sure that Steve would be even _more_ into it after she told him her little secret.

She pulled reluctantly away from his lips and grabbed behind her to take one of his hand off her ass to lead him to the dining table. "Let's eat."

Sweet Steve with his swollen lips and dark eyes looked a bit confused but he followed her willingly and pulled her chair out. "Wine?" He asked her and his hand went for the bottle.

"No, thank you." She pointed at his chair. "Come sit."

They talked about work (they were mostly training new recruits and helping with mission planning these days) and James over dinner and she tried her best to act casually. She was positive that Steve would be surprised. She knew that he would be over the moon but it happened faster than she had expected. They had only been trying for two months but she should have known better than to doubt her husband's super swimmers.

She got up after dinner telling Steve to stay where he was and quickly got the gift box out of her handbag. She handed it over to Steve who looked at her with wide eyes. "Please don't tell me I missed our anniversary. I'm pretty sure that's next month."

She laughed and shook her head. "Don't worry. As if you would ever forget that. It's just a little gift. Open it."

Steve removed the wrapping paper and opened the box. He pulled the gift out and looked at her with confusion on his face. "Why are you giving me a sweater that would only fit our son? I know my clothes are a bit tight sometimes but even I would never wear that."

"Turn it around." She chuckled.

He did and then his eyes almost fell out of their sockets. "Nat? Really? Already?"

She nodded. "Yes. I'm four weeks pregnant!"

His eyes got teary and he got out of his chair and picked her up. "We're having another baby?" He whispered and kissed her deeply. "God, I love you so much, sweetheart!" He carried her upstairs and spent the rest of the night worshiping her body.

They cleaned up the dining table the next morning and she hid the sweater with _World's best big brother_ embroidered on it in her closet. They agreed to wait a little longer before they would tell James about the baby. Steve kissed her stomach before they left the house to pick up their son. He had whispered last night into her ear that he hoped they would be having a girl, a girl as beautiful and amazing as her mother, and she had fallen in love with him all over again. And this time he would be right with her from the start. This time he wouldn't miss the first months of her pregnancy. This time she had a family to celebrate this miracle with.

* * *

 _A series of festive one shots about the Rogers' family is online:)_


End file.
